with such a fragile sense of finality, my heart breaks under its weight

I know my whole life is ahead of me, and that this is just a phase of many coming to an end, but I cannot help feel such...finality.

High school is -for me- over. I just have a few more responsibilities, and then...it's OVER. Believe me, I'm incredibly glad. I want to get into the future and see what I will become.

But, I WILL miss my friends, especially Mayte. I worry that we will lose contact. It's breaking my heart.

and my sister, I love her to death. How can I leave?

but i AM leaving, in 5 months. Can you believe that?

Today I did my presentation. I excelled at it. Everyone was "wowed." Stupid Mayte started cry, and made me cry, something that shocked me. I cried at hers, she cried a little then.

It was just so WEIRD to see my classmate -in my grade- doing this. I've seen plenty of others, from other grades, in the past, and always looked so forward to mine. I mean, afterall, i get to share myself with people. Everything I've done well, and experienced, it's been like, "oh, i gotta save this for my portfolio. oh, i want to present that."

and now it's done, and i have no where to put my thoughts. It's a very lost feeling. ^^

I am glad, though. it was a success, a flying one. I want to cry, but my own weakness of hating to show much REAL emotion is in the way. If i cry, it's usually me forcing myself to. And then it only lasts for a minute. I only truly cry when i'm PISSED.

This sucks. I am listening to "otherside" by the red hot chili peppers, too.

heh